i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Duck Duck Cougar?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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