i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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