I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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