yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
