True but thats because hes a fetus.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
