After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
