She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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