No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
