I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
