i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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