You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize