I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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