Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize