Porn is love you can see.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just want nice things and good sex
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
