her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
