I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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