We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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