when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
