You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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