try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
