Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
