The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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