That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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