i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I love you. Go after that dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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