How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
