Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
