that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
