just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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