One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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