I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
bring money and cleavage
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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