thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
