the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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