He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
