she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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