Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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