It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
