How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
