apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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