ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize