Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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