Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
