Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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