is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
