New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i think my cat just said my name.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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