can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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