he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize