You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
