Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
