He uses pillows to masturbate.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
