New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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