Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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