i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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