what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
