Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
